Full House Season 9
Written by: Martin van Dam
(9.05) 197 - It Was Almost Like A Halloween
Stephanie Tanner is in the living room when the phone rings.
"Hello? Who's there?" Stephanie asks after she took the receiver.
"Atch" a children's voice says.
"Atch who?" Stephanie asks.
"Bless you!" The voice on the other side of the receiver says and she hears two boys giggling.
Stephanie runs up the stairs. On the attic she sees her three year old cousins Nicky and Alex sitting on the couch with her eight year old sister Michelle. The boys giggle when they see her.
"Did you just prank call me?" He asks severely.
"No, Michelle did." Nicky replies.
"Hey, I was just sitting here," Michelle responds.
"I think I heard your voice on the other end of the line. And you know what happens when you make prank calls, don't you? Then the tickle monster is coming after you."
Stephanie walks towards the boys, with her hands in front of her, and moving her fingers like she's tickling the boys already. The boys try to get off the couch, but Stephanie gets to them just in time to start tickling them.
"Come here you. I'm going to tickle you until you beg for mercy." Stephanie smiles.
"Have mercy!" Alex giggles..
"Have double mercy!" Nicky adds, also giggling.
----------------------------------------- Intro ----------------------------------------------
Jesse Katsopolis and Joey Gladstone are driving on the highway.
"An interview with Michael Jordan," Joey says, "That was like a dream coming true."
"I thought we were going to interview the basketball player for our show." Jesse replies.
"Well, apparently tomorrow we will have an item on our show about Michael Jordan the Rabbit Whisperer from Laughlin." Joey changes his voice and imitates Bugs Bunny. "Hey, what's up, doc? Why are you whispering to me?"
Jesse frowns as he looks at Joey. "Did you have to do these voices in the interview?"
Joey smiles. "Yesss, of courssse," he says with a Daffy Duck voice, "That man wasss whissspering in rabbit. I couldn't underssstand him."
Jesse waves his hand before his face. "Please don't do Daffy Duck voices in the car. There's no wipers on the inside of the windshield."
"Can I do Elmer Fudd then?" He puts on another cartoon voice. "Where's that wabbit?"
Jesse shakes his head and smiles.
"Jess, shouldn't we have taken that exit we just passed?"
Jesse shakes his head. "No, I don't think so. There's a map in the glove compartment."
Joey takes the map and unfolds it. "Let's see, where are we now?"
"Are you sure you can read maps?" Jesse asks, sounding a little bit worried.
"Of course I know how to read maps. There's a dot telling me where I am and then a dotted line leading to the X where we want to go."
"Joey, this is not a cartoon map."
"Jess, come on, trust me. I found our location on the map and we have to take the next exit."
In the living room of the Tanner house, we find Danny, Stephanie and Michelle.
"So, are you ready for tonight?" Danny Tanner asks his daughters.
Michelle nods. "I'm ready to scare people at their own door to get candy."
"Then why aren't you dressed up yet?"
Michelle stands up from the couch. "Because I was just going to change."
As Michelle walks up the stairs, Becky walks down with her twin boys Nicky and Alex.
"Wow, you boys look great." Danny says.
The two boys, aged three, wear similar vampire costumes, with a black cape and fake teeth. Around their mouth a red circle is drawn and a vertical red line comes down from the corner of their mouth, to suggest blood is running out of their mouth.
"We have lipstick on our face," Nicky says.
"Mommy did that," his brother Alex adds.
"It took me almost two hours to get them dressed up like this," Becky says. "Jesse wanted them to wear Elvis costumes, but I was able to talk him out of that idea."
"You talked my uncle Jesse out of an idea involving Elvis? How did you do that?" Stephanie asks.
"I asked him if he really thought The King was scary enough to become a Halloween Costume."
The doorbell rings. Stephanie opens the door and her best friend Gia walks in.
"Hi Steph, hello mister Tanner," Gia says.
"We are vampires," Alex says to Gia.
Michelle walks down the stairs, dressed up like a witch.
Gia smiles and puts on a childlike voice. "How sweet, our little witch wears her normal clothes."
"Thank you Gia," Michelle answers, also in a childlike voice, "I like your Godzilla outfit too."
Gia looks at Michelle with an annoyed look in her eyes. Stephanie pulls her towards the door.
"Let's go, before all the good seats in the cinema are taken," Stephanie says.
"What time will you girls be home?" Danny asks.
Stephanie and Gia look at each other and answer together: "Late."
"If late means you'll be home by nine thirty, I can live with that," Danny replies.
Stephanie waves to the people in the living room, before she closes the door.
Inside the house, Becky turns to Michelle. "You look great, Michelle. Thanks for taking the boys."
"Any time," Michelle answers her aunt Becky.
"Michelle, remember, you can only go to the houses on this side of the street," Danny says.
"Yes I know, and don't talk to strangers, which will be difficult if we want people to give us candy."
Michelle walks to the kitchen door, which she opens a little bit and she calls Comet, the family dog. Wearing a cowboy hat and a leather jacket, the golden retriever enters the living room.
"Michelle, what have you done to Comet?" Danny smiles.
"I gave him a Halloween costume as well. He's a cowdog."
"Comet looks uncomfortable with the jacket, so maybe you should take it off." Danny says.
Reluctantly Michelle removes the jacket from the dog's body. "Can he keep the hat?"
Danny nods. "Yeah, it makes him look like a tough hairball."
"Come on boys," Michelle says. The twins and Comet follow her to the front door.
"Candy! Candy!" The boys scream.
"Be careful, honey," Danny says with a worried tone in his voice.
Michelle turns around. "See you later." Then she closes the door.
"Maybe I should go with them," Danny says to Becky. "It's the first time Michelle goes by herself. Usually DJ, Stephanie or one of us would go with her."
"Danny, they will be fine. They stay close to home and they have Comet with them." Becky reassures Danny, "And you'll be home, so if something happens, they'll find you."
"You're right. But it's so hard to let Michelle go. They all grow up so fast."
Jesse and Joey are still in the car. Jesse pulls over the car and looks at Joey.
"Can you explain something to me?" Jesse asks.
"Sure buddy," Joey explains.
"Joseph, do you see that mountain on our left?" Jesse points out of the window.
"What about it?"
"Why do I have the feeling we've seen that before?"
"Well, Jess, we must have passed it on our way out."
"No, I don't think that's it. We've seen it three times on our way back already."
"Well, those mountains look very alike." Joey nods.
Jesse grabs the map out of Joey's hands. "Let me see that." Jesse studies the map and then looks at Joey with a faked smile on his face. "I thought you said you could read maps."
"Yes, and I'm doing pretty well."
"Then why is San Francisco in the north east of the country on this map?"
Joey ponders for a moment. "Well, America could have been turned upside down."
Jesse slaps Joey against the back of his head. "No, you held the map upside down."
Joey looks at the map. "maybe we should turn around then."
DJ Tanner and her boyfriend Steve Hale are in the Smash Club. Steve hands her two glasses of cola. She takes them from the counter and walks to a table near the door.
"Here are your drinks. Sorry you had to wait."
From the other end of the club, someone yells to ask where his drinks are. At that moment Becky enters the Smash Club.
"Thank god you're here," DJ says to her aunt, "It's a hectic night."
"I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner. Dressing the boys for Halloween took me quite a while." Becky walks behind the bar. "Steve, I'll take over, so you can help DJ."
Michelle and her cousins Nicky and Alex Katsopolis walk down the street to trick or treat their neighbors. Together they walk up the steps of the second house they visit.
"I showed you what to do at the previous house, now it's your turn to ring the bell," Michelle says.
Nicky and Alex nod. "Okay Michelle," the twin boys say together.
"You know what you have to say if they open the door, right?"
As Nicky rings the bell, Alex nods. "We know."
The door opens and an old woman appears in the door opening.
"Hello children, what can I do for you?"
Nicky, with a severe tone in his voice says:"Give us your candy, lady!"
Alex adds:"Our bags are still very empty."
Michelle steps in front of the boys and smiles at the old lady. "I'm sorry, they are still learning."
The lady smiles back at Michelle. "O, I understand, dear. It's okay." She puts some candy in the bags Nicky, Alex and Michelle hold in their hands. Then she closes the door.
As they walk down the stairs, Michelle explains to the boys that they should just say 'trick or treat'.
"So can we eat our candy now?" Alex asks when Michelle stops explaining.
"Alex, we've only been at two houses. If you start eating now, your bag will never get full."
"But I'm hungry." Alex says.
"Me too," Nicky nods.
Michelle shakes her head. "Remember what your mother said. No candy before we get home."
Nicky pulls Michelle's sleeve. "Let's go then, Michelle, what are you waiting for?"
Alex nods. "We need to walk faster. Then we're home sooner."
Michelle shakes her head. "Kids," she whispers.
Stephanie Tanner and her best friend Gia are in the cinema, searching for their seats.
"I think these are our seats," Gia says.
"Good view from here," Stephanie nods.
Gia smiles. "Indeed, Steph." She points at a couple of guys talking a few rows in front of them. One of them has turned around, to talk to his friends.
"You see that guy," she whispers," that's Fred Lopez, and he's cute."
"He's okay, I guess." Stephanie shrugs.
"Steph, what's wrong with you? He's not just okay." Gia sounds annoyed.
"Gia, haven't you noticed that zit on his forehead?"
Gia turns her attention to Fred and for a moment she studies his face. "You're right. I never noticed that thing before. It looks so… so…"
"Gross?" Stephanie suggests.
"And so… huge." Gia shivers.
"If it had been a few inches lower, he could be Rudolph in the Christmas play." Stephanie smiles.
"You're right, he's not that cute. Let's find another guy to focus on then." Gia says.
"Gia, we could just watch the movie. After all that's what we came here for. And besides, you can't see any guys if the lights are turned down during the movie."
"Of course I'm here for the boys," Gia responds.
"Gia, why are you so desperately looking for a boyfriend?"
"Because all my friends have a boyfriend."Gia sighs.
"I don't have a boyfriend." Stephanie looks worried.
"Well, I meant my friends, my…"
"So am I not your friend? I thought you were my best friend."
Gia tries to save the situation. "Yes, but my other friends… and you had Andrew, remember."
"Gia, that lasted for three days."
"Yeah, well. Never mind, Steph. They're going to start the movie."
Stephanie sits back and shakes her head.
Danny Tanner is sitting on the couch, watching TV, when the doorbell rings. He stands up and walks to the door, while he tries to keep an eye on the movie he's watching. When he opens the door, his daughter DJ's best friend Kimmy, who lives next door, smiles at him.
"Good evening, candy man," she says.
Before Danny can answer, Kimmy enters the living room, followed by her boyfriend Duane.
"Kimmy, DJ is not home," Danny firmly says.
"I don't mind. We'll wait in her room." Kimmy enters the kitchen and walks to the basement.
"Kimmy, why don't you just come back when DJ is here? And her room is not in the basement."
Kimmy smiles. "Of course it is. It's Steve's new room, so it's DJ's."
Danny shakes his head. "Kimmy, go home and come back later."
"Gee, you should really lighten up, Mr. T."
Duane, who has been silent all time, puts his finger in the air and wobbles on his feet.
"What's going on with him. Is he doing a rain dance?" Danny asks.
"Sort of. He has to use the toilet. It's that way, honey." Kimmy points in the direction of the toilet and Duane runs for it. Then Kimmy walks down the stairs of the basement.
"Kimmy," Danny shouts, "Come back." He follows Kimmy into the basement.
Down in the basement, Kimmy stands in the almost empty room, where Jesse Katsopolis used to have his studio.
"Wow, this place really needs some adjustment before Steve can live here," Kimmy says.
"Now you've seen it, move it." Danny sighs again.
"Okay, I'm out of here. I know when I'm not welcome," Kimmy fakes indignation.
"No you don't," Danny replies.
Kimmy walks up the stairs. She wants to open the door, that closed behind Danny, but she's holding the door knob in her hand.
"Oops," she says.
"Kimmy, what have you done?" Danny grabs the door knob from her hands and tries to use it to open the door, but to no avail.
Jesse and Joey are still driving around.
"How far away is the next town?" Jesse asks, a little annoyed.
Joey takes a look at the map and makes a guess. "I'd say about ten inches."
"Then why don't I see it anywhere?"
"Look, we are about here, and the next town is here," Joey points out with his finger.
Jesse puts his arm on Joey's shoulder. "Joey, pal."
"Jesse, buddy," Joey responds.
"That isn't ten inches. That is ten miles. And we're running out of gas, so I hope we run into a gas station before we enter that town."
Joey shakes his head. "I think we won't make it that far. It looks like we're already out of gas."
Jesse pulls over and slams his hands on the steering wheel.
"Well, this is it. We're stuck in the middle of nowhere and we're out of gas."
"Well, one of us has to push the car then," Joey says, looking at Jesse.
Jesse looks back and after ten second of staring at each other in silence, Jesse says:"Well, what are you waiting for? Start pushing."
Joey gets out of the car. "And what will you be doing while I push?"
"Keep the car on the road, so I cannot kill you," Jesse replies.
Joey imitates the voice of Arnold Schwarzenegger, says: "Somebody is a little bit cranky."
In the basement of the Tanner house, Danny is stands at the door and yells.
"Is anybody there? Help, we're down here!"
"Why do you keep yelling like that? Nobody's home. But don't worry, you're not alone down here."
Danny stares at Kimmy, then he hammers the door with his fists. "Help!" He yells even louder.
Kimmy shrugs and looks around. "Cool, an axe," she says and she takes the object from the ground. "I can't believe I'm holding a real axe. Wow."
"Me neither." Danny grabs the axe from her. "Give me that." Danny walks towards the door and lifts the axe above his head. When he tries to swing the axe towards the door, the head of the axe falls of the helve.
Kimmy shakes her head. "You should be more careful. If you had hit the door, you would have caused a mess. Are you sick?"
In the cinema, Gia is talking to the guy sitting next to her.
"Gia, can you please be quiet? I'm trying to watch the movie." Stephanie whispers.
"Steph, can't you see I'm trying to chat up the guy next to me?"
"Can't you do that in silence, Gia?"
Gia shakes her head. "Of course not. If I talk silent, he can't hear me."
Stephanie sighs. "Gia, we came here to see the movie, remember?"
Gia rolls her eyes. "Steph, get over it, get a life and try to be a real friend for once."
Stephanie looks at her friend in shock. "Gia, remember last year when everybody was talking behind your back? I was the only one who stood up for you then. If that means I'm not a real friend, maybe you should review your definition of friendship."
Gia shrugs. "Don't make such a fuss about it."
Stephanie gets up from her seat. "Gia, you hurt my feelings. Have fun with these boys. I hope they are more interesting to you." Stephanie turns around and walks away.
In the Smash Club, DJ stands next to Becky,
"Where's the band?" DJ asks, "They should have been here an hour ago."
"I'll go see if I can find a phone number in Jesse's office. Can you watch the bar for me?"
Becky walks away. AT that moment, Steve walks towards the bar.
"Deej, are there any peanuts left?"
DJ opens a cabinet under the counter. "Which table ran out of peanuts?"
"None, I'm just hungry," Steve replies.
DJ gets up. "Steve, we're working, you can eat later."
"But you know how my productivity drops when I'm hungry."
"Al right, one small bowl of nuts for you it is," DJ sighs, "But hurry up, customers are waiting."
Steve takes a hand of peanuts and puts them in his mouth. "I can eat fast," he mumbles.
"Here, take these to the man with the pink shirt over there." DJ hands Steve a tray with glasses.
Steve walks to the table and puts the glasses in front of the customers.
"Hey, I ordered orangeade, not orange jus," the man with the pink shirt shouts.
"I'm sorry. But hey, this is much healthier." Steve says.
The customer glares at Steve. "Where's your manager? I want to speak to him."
Steve looks around. "There she is. Becky!"
Becky walks to the table.
"Are you in charge here? This young man is very insolent. First, he served me orange jus instead of orangeade, and then he…" he can't finish his sentence, as Becky interrupts him.
"Sir, just use your imagination and pretend it's orangeade."
"But it is…"
"Drink it!" Becky says fiercely.
The man takes the glass and starts drinking with his hand shaking.
Becky and Steve go back to DJ.
"I couldn't find a phone number," Becky says, "Jesse should know it."
"Shouldn't he be back by now?" DJ asks.
Becky looks at her watch. "You're right. Where is he?"
We find Joey pushing the car, with Jesse behind the wheel. The car moves forward very slowly.
"Can't you push harder, Joey?"
"Hey, you have the easy part, " Joey answers, "You don't have to… Ouch!" Joey stops pushing.
Jesse gets out of the car and looks worried. "What's wrong?"
"I think I sprained my ankle," Joey answers.
"You're kidding me, right?" Jesse asks, "What do we do now?"
"Well, I think you should take over pushing the car."
Joey gets into the car. Jesse reluctantly walks behind the car and starts pushing.
"Jesse, do you see those lights in front of us? I think there's a gas station."
Jesse looks to the horizon. "I think you're right. This means we can go home soon!"
Joey gets out of the car and starts jumping up and down. "We made it!"
"Joey, I thought you sprained your ankle," Jesse says, as he is looking confused at Joey.
"Okay, I admit it. I made that up," Joey explains, "I got tired from pushing the car by myself."
Jesse smiles. "Joey, I'm sorry I put the blame solely on you. We're in this together. "
"It's okay Jess. After all I did mess up a little bit with that map."
"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's push together."
Michelle and her cousins Nicky and Alex are walking on the street with their candy bags.
"Boys, it's time to go home," Michelle says.
"But our bags are still not full," Alex says.
"You shouldn't have eaten all that candy then."
"But it's candy. We have to eat that," Nicky responds.
Michelle ponders for a moment. "You are right. Candy shouldn't be left untouched for too long. Let's do one more house then, okay?"
The twin boys nod and together, they say: "Okay."
Michelle stops in front of a house with a blue façade. "This is Mr. Green's house. Comet, come here, boy, I have something for you."
Comet walks to Michelle and grabs the paper bag she's holding in her hand, with his mouth.
"Why did you do that?" Nicky asks.
"You'll see," Michelle answers.
Comet walks to the door. He gets on his hind legs, while he is leaning with his forepaws against the door. With his snout, he presses the doorbell. Then he sits down and waits with the paper bag in his mouth. The door opens and an old man appears. Comet drops the bag and barks three times. Then he takes the bag in his mouth again and looks at Mr. Green.
"Hello, boy. Do you want a treat? Here you go." He takes a bone and puts it in the bag Comet is holding. Comet barks and walks to Michelle and the twins.
"Do you have candy too?" Alex asks.
"Of course I do," Mr. Green smiles, "Here's a chocolate bar for each of you."
"Thank you mister," Nicky says.
The old man smiles and closes the door.
Michelle starts walking. Comet follows her. "Come boys, time to go home."
In the basement of the Tanner house, Danny is still being locked up with Kimmy.
"I wish someone was home," Danny says.
"Duane is in the house." Kimmy replies.
Danny looks relieved. "Duane, of course." He starts yelling. "Duane, we're here! Open the door please. Duane!" Danny bangs on the door with his fist.
Kimmy puts her hand on Danny's shoulder.
"Weren't you watching TV when we got here?"
"Yes I was," Danny answers, "Why?"
"Well," Kimmy says, "if you left the TV on, Duane is probably watching it now, not knowing what's going on around him."
"Oh my god," Danny says, "I'm in a horror movie."
Duane is indeed sitting on the couch, watching TV. He stares at the TV without moving a muscle. He doesn't notice the front door opens and Stephanie walks in.
"Duane? What are you doing here and what have you done to my dad?" Stephanie asks.
Duane doesn't respond. Stephanie walks towards Duane and stands between him and the television. Slowly Duane moves his head up to look at Stephanie.
"Hey!" He says.
Stephanie looks surprised at him. "Did you learn a new word?"
Duane shrugs and moves his head in an attempt to see the television. Stephanie moves in the same direction every time he tries to look around her.
"Do you know where my dad is?" Stephanie finally asks.
Duane points at the kitchen door.
"He's in the kitchen? Thank you." Stephanie walks into the kitchen, where she hears Danny screaming. She opens the basement door.
Danny hugs her the moment he sees her. "Thank you Stephanie. You're a life saver."
Kimmy walks past them. "Well, I have to go. I had a nice evening with you down there, Mr. T."
"Dad, what were you doing in the basement with Kimmy?" Stephanie asks.
"That's a long story, honey. What are you doing home already?"
"I had a fight with Gia. She paid more attention to boys than me or the movie and then she called me some ugly things."
Danny puts his hands on Stephanie's shoulders. "Sounds like the two of you need to have a little chat tomorrow."
Stephanie shrugs. "I don't know. She really hurt my feelings."
Later that evening, Jesse and Joey arrive at the Smash Club.
"Jesse, where have you been?" Becky hugs her husband.
"We had some problems on our way home."
"What kind of problems>" Becky asks.
"We got lost with an empty fuel tank," Joey answers, "I did tap my heels though, saying," he uses the voice to that of a little girl, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home." his voice changes to normal again, "But I wasn't wearing my ruby slippers."
Becky smiles. "I'm glad you're back, boys."
"How did it go here?" Jesse asks.
"Well, it's a busy night with silky customers and the band showed up an hour and a half too late, but everything's under control now."
At the Tanner house, the doorbell rings. Stephanie opens the door and Gia walks in.
"What are you doing here?" Stephanie asks.
"I came to apologize. I have been acting really stupid and said some things I didn't really mean."
Stephanie and Gia sit down on the couch.
"You really hurt my feelings, Gia," Stephanie says.
"I know. I guess I was too obsessed with the boys around me and I wasn't the best friend for you. And you were right. If anyone is a real friend to me, it is you. So, can you please forgive me?"
Stephanie nods. "Of course I can, you are my friend."
The girls hug.
Michelle walks down the stairs, followed by Nicky and Alex.
"I see someone who really needs a shower," Michelle says, when she sees the girls hugging.
Gia turns around. "Hey, the nursery school is also back."
"Well, at least we got into nursery school. When will you start?" Michelle replies.
Danny walks in from the kitchen with Jesse, Joey, DJ and Becky. The twin run to their parents.
"We got candy, mummy," Alex says.
"You did? And where is it now?" Becky asks.
"In our tummy," Nicky replies.
Becky looks at Michelle, who throws her hands in the air.
"Don't look at me, they ate it."
"You can't stop them from eating candy, can you?" Becky shakes her head.
"That's because we like it," Nicky says.
"A lot!" Alex adds.
Comet walks in from the kitchen carrying his paper bag.
"Comet, what do you have there?" Danny asks.
Comet puts the bag on the ground and puts his snout in it to get the bone out. When it is on the floor in front of him, he looks at Danny with a begging look in his eyes.
"Comet also trick and treated," Michelle says.
Comet barks and keeps staring at Danny.
"Okay, boy, you can chew on the bone now."
Comet barks again, grabs the bone and walks into the kitchen, watched by the entire clan.
----------------------------------------- End Tune ----------------------------------------------
This story was originally written in 1998, as episode 194, but when I started to rewrite the fan fics, I also changed the order in which they appear.
Here you can post, read and comment on fan fictional stories from Full House.
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